A Universe a Stone's Throw Away
by wordbearer
Summary: Beastboy Gets Himself Sent to Another Dimension. Old Ploy, Hopefully New Spin One Shot.


Whoo Hoo! Another one of my legendary one-shots (self proclaimed of course). Been sitting in my 'To be finished pile' since forever. A BB centric piece of sorts. Anyway, I don't' own Teen Titans in any way, shape, or form. That honor belongs to someone at Cartoon Network and I have no intention of challenging that person. I seek no profit from this and merely hope to avoid being sued… Please enjoy if possible.

A Universe a Stone's Throw Away

By Wordbearer

A high-pitched whine cut through the air of Titans Tower, "But Raven, why not? You said it was easy!" Beastboy knelt in front of the dark mystic as she was determinedly reading her book, her features draped in shadow.

Raven replied, "I said no, Beastboy. Look it up if you don't understand that word." The pair was in the main room of the tower, Raven on the couch.

The changeling stared at her as he wheedled. "C'mon! You did it with Starfire. All I want to do is contact Walter Mathieu's spirit and practice some of my jokes on him…"

Raven looked up at this point, "One, the dead don't like being bothered. Two, my scrying orb is not a toy to be used by monkeys. Three, I'm not letting you in my room."

Beastboy cut in, "That's just an excuse to be your grumpy self in your musty, old room. You just push us away like you don't care about us at all."

Raven locked angry eyes on Beastboy, her aura beginning to flare as she spoke, "Okay, you've stepped over the line now. I'm going to the roof to meditate. Don't follow me, for your own good."

He grabbed her arm, "I'll use the face on you. Don't think I won't!" The dark mystic pulled the hand away from her arm, and after a final dismissive glare, vanished in a flare of black light.

Beastboy scuffed his boot on the carpet in the wake of her departure. He muttered, "Man… That line always works on Starfire. Now what?" He skimmed over the TV, the Gamestation 2, a collection of DVDs, and the window which showed a beautiful view outside.

He slouched on the couch and crossed his arms over his chest, "There's nothing to do." A gear suddenly unclogged in his head and an idea came into being.

The changeling brightened, a congratulatory smirk marring his features as he pumped an elbow triumphantly, "That would work. She would know how it worked and Raven won't be down for hours. I am a genius. Walter Mathieu, here I come…"

Beastboy stood in a hallway, his best charming grin on, awaiting the answer to his knock. A cheerful voice exclaimed from behind the door, "Please wait a moment. I will be there shortly." There was a pause.

"Silkie. I have told you before. Hair is not for eating…" Starfire opened the door, a strip of her red hair wet from the saliva of the mutated larva gurgling on her shoulder.

Beastboy started off, "Hey, Star. How are you feeling?"

Her eyes narrowing in bemusement, the alien answered, "I am fine, friend Beastboy. Why do you ask?"

He rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah… Just wanted to ask you some questions about the time you and Raven were using that orb thing to contact the dead. Would that be cool?"

"I do not know what that has to do with the temperature, but I see no reason why you should not…"

Beastboy beamed inside, one step in his plan fulfilled. He cut Starfire off and rushed past her and slammed the door.

Starfire regained her balance and asked, "Why did you react so vigorously? You have startled Silkie." The mutant was squirming in her grip as she gradually soothed it.

Beastboy replied, "Sorry. This is just something I don't want leaking around the Tower immediately. It's sort of a surprise…"

Starfire nodded and he continued, "Anyway, I want to know how Raven's scrying orb works."

The alien frowned, "You have asked Raven's permission to do this? Friend Raven is most private and she regards it as a rare object."

Beastboy grinned disingenuously, "Of course. She said 'I could try my feeble-minded best' and I just needed your clarification on how to use it. Rae was kind of vague about how to handle it." Starfire's frown lasted a second longer before her faith in human nature overcame her doubts. She put Silkie down on her bed and turned to face the changeling again.

The alien caught him up in a crushing bear-hug as she spoke, "This is most glorious! My friends are acting like true friends at long last! I shall tell you all I know of the orb of scrying…" Beastboy nodded attentively as she elaborated. It seemed he would get his chance to test his jokes on Walter Mathieu. Silkie took a look at the pair and gave a nauseous moan before trying to digest Starfire's pillow.

Sometime later, Beastboy cautiously checked that the coast was clear. He morphed into a green cockroach and scurried under Raven's door. Quivering antennae failed to detect anyone inside the dark chamber. Beastboy darted behind the dark mystic's bookshelf and returned to his normal form.

He peaked in the rest of the chamber, sighing in relief as he took in the vacant space. "This place is still creepy," he whispered. With the shades drawn, Raven's collection of relics took on a daemonic aspect. The bookshelf was haunted by lurking imps. The irregular mirror reflected grey shadows.

Beastboy shivered and muttered to himself, "Just think about Walter Mathieu, Beastboy. Raven will be busy for the next couple hours and that's plenty of time to get in, talk, and get out." The changeling started going through a promising-looking trunk covered in deeply carved runes at the foot of her bed. It was filled with stuff: books, old candles, bags of smooth stones, statuary, and a number of scrolls. At first, he reverently put the items aside with an eye towards putting everything back later. He became hasty as he realized how much time was passing. Beastboy starting tossing items over his shoulder, all caution lost in the face of his Walter Mathieu-lust.

After tossing a black stone over his shoulder, he said, "Where could she keep a sphere three feet wide? It's not like she could stuff it in her closet…" The black stone began to pulse an ominous shade of red as he got up and pulled open Raven's closet. There were plenty of blue uniforms and shoes inside, but no orb. Beastboy was making his way across to her dresser when the stone flared, blinding him with savage radiance.

"What the heck?" he exclaimed with an arm covering his eyes. The stone flared again, sparks arching from its surface. A look of alarm crossed his face. Beastboy knew that when something starting flashing, it was time to go. He morphed into a cockroach to slip under the door, but felt his legs pumping uselessly in the face of the suction pulling him backwards. He morphed back and gave a yelp of fright. The stone was sucking in everything around it: loose paper, shoes, books… The objects vanished with a pop when they touched the black surface, red sparks dancing in the air where they were seconds before.

He thought, "Not again! Why does Raven booby-trap her stuff?" Beastboy lost his feeble grip on the carpet and vanished. There was a mini-explosion and the stone settled down, a simple object in a now-cluttered room.

Beastboy groaned on his way to wakefulness, the last memories in his head muddied and confused. He pushed himself to a sitting position, acutely aware of an ache in his back and a headache that prompted him to keep his eyes closed.

Rubbing his sore temple, he grumbled, "What hit me? Last thing I remember… Oh, crud." Beastboy cracked his eyes open and took in his surroundings. He was in a rocky gully, sitting on a patch of soil strewn with fist-sized stones. The sun was high overhead and the sky was unclouded, a perfect shade of blue. Shape shifting with the ease of long practice, Beastboy took to the air as a hawk, the better to look at his surroundings. He was on an island off the coast of Jump City, within easy flying distance to the beach. The island was barren save for a few scrub bushes. Beastboy cast his avian gaze around in search of Titans Tower and failed to see it. He knew roughly where he was, and Titans Island should be right below him… Giving the island where he had woken up another once-over, Beastboy only had to superimpose an image from his memory to make it a very familiar island indeed.

He landed and morphed back to human, "Okay. This is Titans Island, so where is Titans Tower?" The landmark was missing; there wasn't even any rubble to indicate where it could have been.

The changeling held his head in both hands and murmured; "Now I've gone and done it. I've blown up Titans Tower so well that there's nothing left to show it ever existed… Hope the others are okay. Heh. They're going to be mad when they find out."

Beastboy snapped out his communicator and turned it on, "Beastboy to Titans. Beastboy to Titans. Come in." Nothing responded except the faint hiss of static.

He tried again, "Uh, Beastboy to Titans. Hello? I know the Tower's blown up, but that's no reason to ignore me. I could use someone yelling at me right now… Hello?" He stared at the unresponsive device, fear finding its way over his face in sickly waves. Pale, Beastboy snapped off the device and stood.

"Okay. So my communicator's out. Where did Robin say for us to meet if something like this happened?" He chewed his lip in nervous agitation.

Pacing back and forth in thought, he murmured, "Oh, yeah. The Justice League outpost. They're probably waiting there…" He shook his head and cracked his jaw to relieve some stress before morphing into a pterodactyl and headed for the heart of Jump City.

As he soared over the city, he caught sight of a structure he had never seen before. Gleaming white pillars capped in gold and bronze protruded from the skyline of the city, seemingly carved from a single piece of rock. They framed a low, wide building of the same design that sat in an expansive park. Ponds and sand gardens dotted the green area, competing with trees and flowerbeds for space amid gently curving paths of black stone. Beastboy raised a reptilian brow as he banked his way to the Justice League outpost. The mysterious complex could wait until he had a chance to regroup with his friends. Landing and demorphing, the changeling strode into the lobby of the outpost. He looked around, expecting to find the Titans gathered in a huddle. Cyborg would be cracking jokes, Robin would be pumping out stress, and Starfire would be chiming in from time to time on Cyborg's behalf.

"Sure they would be mad," Beastboy mused, "but they'll all be grateful to see I'm unhurt. Beastboy, wonder survivor, master of the animal kingdom, champion of Robo-Monkey 4: Attack of the…" Beastboy's thought trailed off as he failed to see any of his teammates.

The lobby was dotted with people going in an out, some of them clad in the typical skin-tight uniform of the super hero, but no Titans.

He stopped moving and scratched his chin, "Okay. So I'm the first one here. I can wait. No problem. They'll be here in a few minutes." Beastboy took a seat and started swinging his legs back and forth, unable to keep still. Humming tonelessly to himself, he watched the minute hand of a clock crawl across its circular domain with all the vigor of a dead slug.

He closed his eyes and started to mentally run through his collection of tofu recipes in order to pass the time, "baked, fried, scrambled, scrambled with nondairy cheese, boiled in stew, served with noodles and red sauce, served with noodles and white sauce, barbecued, mixed in frosting,…" The changeling lost himself in this exercise and by the time he opened his eyes, thirty minutes had passed.

Beastboy got up, "I'm the late one to these meetings. No way I would be the only one here by now. Time to see what's up."

He stepped up to a harried secretary, "Hello. I'd like some help, please." The secretary, a weathered woman with impatient eyes, wasn't surprised to see a green-skinned youth in a purple jumpsuit standing in front of her desk.

She waved him off as she finished a phone call, "…by no means does that mean that your vigilante license is in danger of being revoked. The League covers all collateral damage fees up to $20,000 dollars in cases such as this. Expect payment in nine to twelve business days." A pause.

"You're welcome. Have a nice afternoon."

Hanging up her phone, she turned to Beastboy, "Thank you for your patience. How may I help you today?"

The changeling was intimidated by the flat monotone in her voice, "Uh… Yeah. I'm Beastboy with the Teen Titans and we have like some kind of emergency account with you people. I think that they may be here in a meeting room waiting for me after I blew up Titans Tower."

She raised an eyebrow but asked nothing other than, "Account number of group?" This was one number that Robin had made sure was pounded into the changeling's head.

"123626-5789," he answered.

The secretary typed in the number, her face lit up by scrolling lines of text on the screen of her computer.

At length she said, "I'm sorry. There is no record of such a group number on file."

Confusion bled into his eyes as he stammered, "Re… Really? I have an account, too. Number 12345."

She shrugged as she typed in the new number under personal accounts, "I'm sorry. There is no record of that account either." Beastboy gaped in confusion. What in the name of heck was going on here?

The secretary looked at him and at the line that was forming behind him, "Sir? Can I help you with anything else? People are waiting."

Beastboy's brain raced a mile a minute, "Okay, no big. Can I speak to someone else? I think that our accounts may have been erased or something…"

"Of course, sir. We have an open League representative here. You can meet with him during his 11:00 to 11:30 opening." Her voice conveyed no interest in his issues, only professional courtesy kept her from throwing this crazy teenager out of the building.

Beastboy nodded in eager agreement and she summoned a hovering drone with the press of a button, "Follow the guide and he will lead you to Mr. West's office. Have a nice day." She turned to the growing queue as Beastboy disappeared into the depths of the building.

Beastboy stared sadly at his slice of pizza as the evening shadows gathered in the restaurant he had gone to so many times with his fellow Titans.

The sign flickered to life in the gloom and he murmured, "At least you still exist. I can always get my slice of pizza with non-dairy cheese." The representative had been blunt. There wasn't, nor had there ever been a group called the Teen Titans or a building called Titans Tower. Cyborg was apparently a junior member of the Justice League. Robin was in someplace called Bludhaven doing the solo hero thing. Starfire, or Korand'r, as the representative kept referring to her, was still on Tameraen as acting ruler of a multiplanetary empire. Beastboy apparently didn't even exist; the only mention of him was an announcement of the death of a Logan Garfield in Africa at the age of six, seven years ago. As to Raven… Beastboy couldn't' quite believe what he had heard about Raven.

Beastboy gazed at the white stone pillars of what he now knew to be an Azarathian temple erected on the place 'where the Daemonlord Trigon was banished by the combined efforts of the Justice League and our Azarathian allies, under the guidance of their High Priestess, Raven'. The representative had been faintly mocking of the chance that Raven would have been a part of a team, 'not needing the help' in his words. Beastboy took a disconsolate bite of his pizza.

"So I don't exist. The Titans don't exist. Raven's a scary muckity-muck from another dimension. This is like something from the Twilight Zone," the changeling sighed.

"How am I going to get back? Those Justice League people won't help me until I can prove my story and all my proof is in Titans Tower, which doesn't exist here…" The thoughts ran though his head like polluted rivers, draining energy and hope from his frame. He let his head slump and rest on the table. A chorus of bells began to ring from the direction of the temple, marking the sunset.

He looked up and grumbled, "Stupid Walter Mathieu. He probably wouldn't' even have had anything helpful to say. Why couldn't Raven been sucked here too? She would have figured out way back in no time…"

An idea flared in the despair-laced darkness of his mind, "Hey. Raven is here. All I have to do is get inside that temple and convince her to send me back. Heh. The Raven I know wants to send me to another dimension all the time anyway." He got up and hurried towards what he hoped was the solution to his dilemma.

He paused at the edge of the park which housed the temple, awed by dark mass of the structure and the spiraling pillars that framed it like rearing serpents. Multicolored balefires hung from posts, illuminating the park in scattered patches. Beastboy gulped as he saw the black and silver armored guards that patrolled the park, clutching gleaming polearms that glowed faintly in the darkness. Helms hid their features beneath metal carved into flaring bird wings. Their quiet, competent stance convinced him they knew how to use their weapons.

He whispered from the shadows of a bush, "Okay, time to prove my stealth skills to the world." A serious grin flitted across his face before he melted into the form of a moth. Immediately, the scent of incense guided him toward a window on the upper floors of the building.

As soon as he passed into the building, he morphed into a rat and scurried along the gleaming corridor. From his distorted view, he could see mosaics, tapestries, and banners all engraved with the image of a rearing firebird. The scent of incense was all but overpowering here, and weird songs echoed from the walls, chanting that wrapped its way into the brain insidiously, "Than tho dung tua ben song. Dang trinh mot chuyen ra khoi. Lenh denh tren van neo duong. Than tho dung tua…" Beastboy paused as he caught sight of a short figure draped in a blue-hooded cloak, its back to him.

He was filled with excitement and demorphed, rushing at the figure from behind with heedless haste.

A cry blasted from his lips, "Raven! You've got to help me!" The figure turned in surprise, revealing a pale, feminine face with blue eyes framed by long dark hair. Underneath the cloak, she wore a robe that went past her knees. It wasn't Raven.

Beastboy skidded to a halt at this surprise and the girl asked, "Hoi minh sao tam su ngon ngang?"

He realized that he may have a problem, "Uh. I don't understand what you're saying. I just want to talk to Raven." The girl frowned as she closed her eyes. A pulse of energy went in all directions and the lanterns hanging from the walls started to glow red, the omnipotent chanting growing more strident.

Beastboy held up his hands disarmingly, "Hey. I mean no harm. Just want to talk to yooo…" His voice trailed off as an axe-shaped blade swept through the air where his leg had been six seconds before. He tumbled backwards and hit the ground, staring into the eyes of another guard like the ones he had seen outside. The guard swung again with his weapon and the polearm left a trail of sparks in the wake of its blade. Beastboy dodged back as more guards flooded the corridor, forming a cordon between him and the girl. Facing a dozen men armed with weapons that could do God knows what to him if they hit, Beastboy morphed into a gorilla and awaited their charge. The guardians looked unafraid of the 600-pound beast that threatened them and they looked at something behind Beastboy. He turned to react, but felt a slim blade punch into his shoulder. He swung a ham-like fist, but his assailant dodged effortlessly out of the way. He caught sight of a slim figure clad in trailing gray robes from the corner of his eye as he felt his muscles go limp.

The changeling morphed back to human form and mumbled, "Ninja… Crud…" The world spun. Beastboy was lost in confusion as a guard stepped forward and tied his arms. The guards moved forward and forced him into the kneeling position, blades poised to impale him a half-dozen times in seconds if need be. Everything seemed to be shrouded in grey as the Azarathians conferred with one another in their staccato language.

The 'ninja' kneeled in front of Beastboy, pulling his head up and asked, "Mot chiec thuyen non?"

Beastboy could only shake his head to show his lack of comprehension, "Look you guys. I don't understand what you're saying! I just want to talk to Raven. Short. Purple hair. Grey skin. You know, Raven, your High Priestess? Give me a break I've had a bad day…"

The guards tensed whenever he said the half-daemon's name, only the ninja retaining his calm expression. This was a mask, gray eyes blazing with anger as he asked, "Song-khla mua nang 'Raven' dai dau?"

Beastboy shouted, "Come on! I can't understand you and apparently, you can't understand me! Just grab Raven from the shadows of her room and get her in here. At least get someone who can speak English in here…" The ninja stood up and spoke sharply to a guard the changeling couldn't see. He spotted a blade going up from the corner of his eye, in perfect position to decapitate him.

Beastboy panicked, "Hey! Wait a second! I'm here to talk! Really, really don't want to hurt anyone. Really." The blade hung for an endless moment before it fell. The blade was immobilized by an aura of black light inches from his neck.

The scene froze. The guards stared at the hovering weapon in profound awe.

A voice whispered softly from the back of the group, "Nhu ngay xua." The guards parted to reveal the speaker, respect clear in their postures. Kneeling bound on a marble floor, Beastboy caught sight of Raven, High Priestess of Azarath, for the first time. It was and was not the sarcastic introvert he knew. She looked the same: same build, same hair, same face. There the similarities ended. The dark mystic wore white robes that went down to her ankles beneath a white cloak. The hood was down, revealing a face that didn't seem as tense as he remembered, yet was still a glacial mask of self-control. A pair of bone armbands rested on her upper arms, sparks dancing across their rune-carved surfaces. Raven looked Beastboy over without a trace of recognition. She turned to the ninja, a questioning look in her eyes.

The ninja appeared nervous for the first time, "Giat minh sao… lai la toi… Lam gin en toi cho nguoi."

Raven raised an eybrow and replied, "Mai anh vet tham gium." The last remnants of resistance died in the ninja's stance at this command and the guards let Beastboy up, and untied him. He kept his silence, realizing that he didn't want to make the situation worse. Most of the Azarthians departed as Beastboy was forced into a windowless chamber. Raven followed with a pair of guards to either side. The black-clad soldiers fixed Beastboy with a vigilant stare.

Beastboy nervously coughed into his hand, "Okay. Now what? Thanks for saving my life from Mister Kabuki out there, but what now?"

Raven spoke in English, "I must apologize for the behavior of the Temple-Guardians. They do not know how to treat such a well-mannered visitor."

Beastboy squirmed under the reproach in her tone, but gamely ventured, "That's me. Mr. Explore-temples-in-the-night Beastboy… Sorry."

"You are fortunate that I came so quickly. Azarath deals promptly with those who invade the sanctity of our strongholds. The fact that you were repeating my name as it is known among your people in your babble didn't help."

"Yeah. I experienced that first hand," Beastboy mumbled.

The dark mystic became stern, "What are you doing in the temple at this hour? Terrans are forbidden within these walls from dusk to dawn."

Beastboy launched into his prepared spiel, "I don't exactly know that. You see, I'm not local. At all. As in not this dimension local." Raven raised an eyebrow curiously.

Beastboy hastened to insure that he didn't lose her interest, "I'm from another dimension that's like this one, but not exactly like this one, and in that reality we're both members of this really cool group called the Teen Titans and we kick villain butt on a regular basis while enjoying pizza and other good stuff. Today, I wanted to contact Walter Mathau's spirit so that I could test my jokes on him, but you, not you but the other you from my dimension, wouldn't help me so I snuck into your room and started looking for your orb of scrying thing. Then this black rock started flashing and I got sucked into this reality and you're the only one I know who can send me back and I would be really grateful if you could just do that soon. Please?" He gasped to catch his breath after the breakneck speech.

Raven merely stared at the changeling as her brain deciphered the rant. Beastboy sweated in nervous terror. The dark mystic eventually spoke, "That is a nonsense story, even for a Terran. I believe your people would call it a 'a tall tale to end all tall tales'." Beastboy had expected many reactions, but disbelief wasn't one he had planned on.

He needed to convince her, "I know it sounds unlikely, but it's true. Really. I can prove it. Once we went into your head and met little emotion people who looked like you and there was this big red giant who is somehow connected with your father and he kept saying things like "Feel my Fury" and "Rage shall consume you". And then you carried out this ritual thing that made you… mmm mmmm mra ma ma!" A black muzzle glowed over his mouth as Raven's eyes turned dark with anger.

She spoke in a cold monotone, "No Terran knows about that. You will tell me how you discovered this information or I will let the Grey Knights psychically drag it out of your head… Speak as soon as I dismiss the guards and release the muzzle or know that death is a gentle fate compared to some that I know about." Beastboy nodded vigorously.

The dark mystic turned, "Chap chung du noi nhap."

The guards hesitated, halberds clutched tightly and Raven added another word for emphasis, "Vuom." They nodded in compliance and departed, grim stares locked on the changeling. During this exchange, Beastboy could feel Raven's eye lock on him and the muzzle didn't falter. The door closed, leaving the polyester clad youth alone with the white-robed mystic. Raven gestured and the muzzle flickered out of existence.

Beastboy sweated, "Um… Yeah. Info, right. It's like I told you, I'm not local, from another dimension. Know you there. Stuff like that…"

She raised an eyebrow questioningly, "I may acknowledge the existence of other planes, but do you have proof?"

Beastboy thought quickly, "Not really, just the clothes on my back…"

Raven messaged a temple, "How long has it been since 'the black stone sucked you into this reality'?"

Beastboy ventured, "Maybe 12 hours?"

The dark mystic sighed, "Hold still, there should be enough residual traces of your passage to verify your story. This won't be pleasant for you."

Raven whispered. Her black aura blazed up and out like a bird of prey. Beastboy cowered inside as the shadowy avian's pinions touched the walls and swept toward him. He was surrounded by black fire and the cold bit him to his bones. From somewhere, he could feel a great mind dissect his soul, a vast godlike presence that could snuff him out like a candle if it so wished. Raven's thoughts danced over his psyche, probing here and there like delicate fingers. Beastboy felt like fainting in shock, the sensation almost painful, a violation of his mind. The sensation lasted ten thousand, thousand years in his view, an eternity of strange agony. He dropped to his knees as the energy drew back into Raven's body.

He privately swore, "I am never messing with Raven, her room, or her stuff again. Ever…"

The changeling looked up to find Raven staring inscrutably at him. He sweated and ventured a question, "So, what did you find? Am I the real deal?"

Raven narrowed her eyes in the shadows of her white cloak, "Yes, your story is true. You come from a place where I am not the high priestess of Azarath and serve as a member of this 'Teen Titans' group. I can send you back. The question is: should I?"

Beastboy's jaw dropped, "Wha… Why wouldn't you send me back?"

Raven's answer was low and calm, " One, I would need to expend resources that might be better used elsewhere. Two, you are an intruder on Azarathian territory and I'm entitled to have you ejected from the outpost immediately. Three, from what I could glean of your memories, you are an irritant to others and a questionable source of help to your friends. Four…"

Beastboy slumped and sighed as she paused and he muttered, "Yeah?"

Raven blinked, "Four, I don't know what forced my counterpart to leave Azarath, but she is evidently, very much an Azarathian in behavior."

Her voice dropped grimly, "And if there is one thing that is valued on Azarath, it is privacy, particularly in our sleeping quarters. You violated her quarters, her 'room', and that I hesitate to reward…"

The changeling went pale, "Whaoh! Hold up! Don't strand me in another dimension for a thing like that. I swear I'm never going to do anything like that again. I swear by… by… Monkey Hunt 4!"

The half-daemon drolly intoned, "I fail to find that a moving oath."

Beastboy kept going, "Right, yeah. But… Yah know, punishment fit the crime and stuff like that? I don't want to be banished from everyone I know just because I was stupid! Walter Matheau isn't worth it."

Raven quirked an eyebrow, "I'm inclined to agree, although I hesitate to inflict someone like you on my counterpart again when it would be easy to ignore you and send you out on the street and out of my hair." Beastboy crumbled to the ground crying, the stress and fatigue having finally gotten to him. He wept and moaned a tumultuous display. The dark mystic sighed as she looked down at him, face twisted by a combination of disgust and sympathy.

She stepped back from Beastboy and said, "I'll send you home. Stop crying." The weeping continued.

"I said I would help you. Get up." Beastboy straightened sniffling and smiled wanly at her.

Raven sternly waved him to silence and the changeling was chastened enough by the day's events to obey. She closed her eyes and chanted under her breath.

Her eyes glowed white when she turned to him again, "I'm going to exorcise you from this plane of existence, a technique I normally use on rogue daemons. Since you are so fresh to this dimension, it will send you back to your home dimension approximately near the point of your exit. Don't speak and don't move if you don't want this to kill you… This will be painful, so brace yourself." Beastboy nodded in nervous agreement. Raven began to chant, her voice echoing into a deafening chorus as the air took on a blinding glare. Beastboy closed his eyes in pain to block it out, but the glare cut through his eyelids and bit into every nerve. The words thundered at the edge of understanding, hammers that smashed into his soul and made the ground beneath his feet writhe. He shook with the effort of standing still, endurance ebbing under the painful surge of sensation when something went crack: the glare faded and the chanting died away. He felt himself falling and he looked around to see everything drowned in flowing gray mist. He panicked as the fall continued and a wailing rose around him. A fiery bird engulfed his flesh in a yellow tide of cosmic heat as he blacked out…

"Owww… That sucked," Beastboy moaned with his eyes tightly closed as he returned to consciousness. He blinked open one eye and stared at a stain about three inches from his face. He knew that stain, he had made it after spilling coke in the hall and Robin had made him work for a week trying to get it out. He hated that stain.

The thought made Beastboy wake up all the way, "If the stain is three inches from my nose, I'm in the tower…" He pushed himself upright and exclaimed, "I'm in the Tower! I'm in Titan's Tower! Yes! Thank you, High-Priestess Muckity-Muck Raven!" The cry echoed off the empty hallway and bounced off the walls before fading away. He was in one of the main hallways and the main room would be just down the hall…

The changeling got to his feet, dusting off his jumpsuit carefully as he started down the hall, "Boy, are they going to be surprised to see me. Rae's going to be pissed, but glad she didn't send me to hell or something. She really shouldn't leave stuff like that sitting around her room where anyone could find it… They must be worried sick about me."

He let his train of thought trail off when he neared the door. He could hear arguing from the other side and grinned as he took it in. Cyborg yelled, "You mean you don't know where BB is, if he's alive or who you can talk to find out?"

Raven responded coolly, "With the mess he left in my room, he could have triggered any of a dozen objects that would send him away without a trace. Since you scanned the satellite network for his tracer and got nothing, I have to go with the idea he sent himself to another dimension."

"That's great… Perfect. BB's gone to another dimension and you don't care," Cyborg grunted.

Raven replied, "It's not that I don't care. It's that worrying about something we can't fix is counterproductive. If you could calm yourself for two seconds, you'd see that."

Starfire cut in, "Friends. We must not argue! Our comrade Beastboy is missing and this is not helping."

"I'm merely pointing out…"

"She's the one acting like this is no…"

Robin cut off Raven and Cyborg, "Both of you stop talking. We need to think about this problem, get to bed, and we can get more information tomorrow."

There was a grumble of assent and Beastboy thought, "Now's my cue." He triggered the door and walked in, plastering his coolest grin on his face. The Titans were frozen in various poses: Robin getting up from the computer, Starfire and Cyborg cleaning up the plates, and Raven shrouded in her blue cloak on a chair.

Robin was the first to recover, "Beastboy. You're okay and you're here…"

Starfire tackled him and all but shouted in his face, "We have been so worried! Where were you sent after entering Raven's room without her permission?" There was a note of quiet anger beneath her happiness that made Beastboy go pale as she let go of his arms and drifted back.

He muttered, "Long story. Very long story…"

Cyborg slapped him on the back, "You don't know how nuts you made us all today. I thought you learned your lesson after the first time you entered her room. What's the matter? One giant red hulk not… enough?" The cybernetic youth was pale as he stared over Beastboy's shoulder and the changeling turned to see Raven glaring at him from the shadows of her hood. Her aura boiled around her frame and her eyes were glowing.

Beastboy gulped, "Hey, Raven… Sorry about your room."

She didn't say anything and Beastboy continued, quietly aware that the others were moving away from him, "Yeah. Did you know that white is a really good color on you? You should try it sometime; blue is nice too…"

Raven's voice was almost a growl as she spoke, "I tell people to stay out of my room for two reasons. One, I like my privacy. Two, I keep things in there that are dangerous to the ignorant."

Beastboy was hypnotized by her gaze as she continued, "That most definitely includes you. Evidently you survived, but you could have ended up anywhere from the Abyss to the Elemental Plane of Fire, so you're very lucky to be alive and standing here right now." An undercurrent of concern bled through her tone, but Beastboy was distracted by a dozen objects taking to the air. He prayed that he wouldn't get pummeled and dragged his thoughts back to Raven. Beastboy looked at her in bemusement. It slowly dawned on him that High Priestess Muckity-Muck Raven and Teen Titan Raven evidently weren't pen pals. To tell or not to tell? He frantically debated which choice would get him in the least trouble. His thoughts on the subject were cut short as the swarm of glowing objects orbiting the half-daemon grew.

Raven intoned, "There is one problem I can't get my head around though… You went in my room and that disturbs me."

Robin and the others had scooted to one of the side doors and Starfire asked Robin, "Should we not help him?" Cyborg and Robin shook their heads.

Starfire considered, "Is this one of those act of retribution that are harsh yet needed?" Robin triggered the door and ushered them through it as Beastboy was pummeled by a barrage of pillows, napkins, utensils, and just about everything under ten pounds in the room.

Robin whispered, "Do you want Raven to go after you? Raven's been boiling all day… She won't kill him and I'd rather have Beastboy be the target than us."

Starfire frowned, but allowed herself to be guided away from the brawl as Beastboy wailed, "Hey! Stop! I already got punished for this… Even murderers only get punished for a crime once!" The sound of the conflict faded when the door closed.

So you made it down here. What did you think? Good? Bad? Chockfull of stereotypes and badly overwritten? If you care to, leave a review and tell me what you think. Thank you very much for your time.


End file.
